1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,120
Dying is cliche.

2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,720
It is the most derivative and
predictable thing a person can do.

3
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:14,039
The dead are, by definition, unremarkable.

4
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,720
In themselves, they are nothing.

5
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,319
They only matter insofar as

6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,360
they affect the lives of the people
they leave behind.

7
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:27,599
They are only useful insofar as
they remind the living

8
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,160
that they are still alive.

9
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,000
It's a harrowing reminder.

10
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,839
Some people don't want it.

11
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,200
Hi. All right? Yeah.

12
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,879
TOM: Oh, God.

13
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,880
ABI: Jesus Christ.
What the fuck is he wearing?

14
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,880
I can't believe that's
what you're wearing, Ethan.

15
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,079
What? It's black.
You're wearing fucking blue.

16
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,919
Anyway, it's not like we knew him
that well.

17
00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:59,879
Ethan! Be respectful!

18
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,879
He can't hear us. He's dead!

19
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,400
So you haven't seen him since uni?
Were you close?

20
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,999
Kind of friends, right? Eh...

21
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,159
He was kind of weird.
He used to keep this pet frog

22
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,599
under his bed at freshers'...
Guys, please! What?

23
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,559
You know, I don't even really know
why we're here.

24
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,400
Because we went to uni with him,
all right?

25
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,799
OK, I feel like before we go in,
can we just, like,

26
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,119
stop for a sec and talk,
just before we...?

27
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,559
Guys, it's literally about to start.

28
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,039
I definitely think
we should just go in.

29
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,719
It'll take two minutes,
this conversation.

30
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:30,919
All right, look, I'll get us a seat,

31
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,560
cos we do not want to
get stuck in the back.

32
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,960
All right. All right? Yeah?
Yeah. Yeah.

33
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,320
All right. OK.

34
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,159
Jesus Christ.
It's not a fucking concert.

35
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:43,520
He didn't even know the guy.

36
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,679
What I wanted to say
was that I just, um...

37
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,759
I just don't want you
to think that I care

38
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,119
about this whole, like,
Aaron thing or whatever.

39
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,279
I know the vibe's off. I know
we haven't spoken in, like, a week,

40
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,759
but, like, it's genuinely fine.
That's all I wanted to say.

41
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,519
Great. Yeah.
Told you he wouldn't care.

42
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:02,159
Cos we went on a date and we kissed.
So it's all... What?

43
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,399
OK. I mean, that's, like...

44
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,359
Yeah, bizarre, but...
Bizarre? Um, yeah.

45
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,879
Shall we go in? What?
Let's go in.

46
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,239
When... when did this happen?

47
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,559
The other day at that, like...
What would you even call that?

48
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,759
Artistic circle jerk of cunts?
I don't know. Nice. Yeah.

49
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,279
Ethan, why are you doing this?
It's like...

50
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,639
Doing what?
Chasing after another straight guy

51
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,959
just cos he shows you
the tiniest bit of attention.

52
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,439
Whoa!
First we had racist Finn from uni.

53
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,399
Then there was the Wagamama's waiter
cos he brought out your main first.

54
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,479
And touched my hand when he
gave it to me, but whatever. OK.

55
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,239
And then that Mcat dealer who was
like, sorry, like 60 years old.

56
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,479
He wasn't an Mcat dealer.
He just had loads of spare Mcat...

57
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,919
Oh, OK. Stupid me.
...and he gave it to me

58
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,439
because he was fucking
flirting with me,

59
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,279
which is really nice,
cos it can be expensive.

60
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,159
OK. And he wasn't that old.
He had grandchildren.

61
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,799
And, sorry, Aaron isn't straight.
He kissed me.

62
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,119
Yes, he is. He fucked Sam.

63
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,679
Oh, my God, Abi, what the fuck?

64
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:45,999
Well, didn't he?

65
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,759
No. We literally, like, made out,
and then he fingered me a bit.

66
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,599
He fingered you?
Oh, OK, that's fine then!

67
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,519
What are you, fucking ten? Ten?

68
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,319
Stop it! Fingering counts!

69
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,079
You care, and you regret it,

70
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,079
so just stop lying.

71
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,719
Just stop lying to each other.
Stop lying to yourselves.

72
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,159
It's fucking pathetic.

73
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,839
Lying to ourselves?
Rich coming from you.

74
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,679
The fuck does that mean, Ethan?

75
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,839
Abi, you don't love him.

76
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,639
You don't actually love him.

77
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,159
Ethan.

78
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,599
Sorry, but it's getting cruel.

79
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,279
It's hard to watch.

80
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,079
You don't love Tom.
You love, like...

81
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,119
...your Dyson and natural wine

82
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,359
and feeling like you've won.

83
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,000
Come on, I know you.

84
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,040
That's really what you think, yeah?

85
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,520
That's what we both think.

86
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,079
Babe, it's actually
getting so busy now.

87
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,360
Come on. Yeah.

88
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,920
You don't seem happy, Ab.

89
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,639
What, and you're dead happy,
are you?

90
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,919
Slinking around
after your ex-girlfriend

91
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,279
just so she'll show you
the tiniest bit of attention.

92
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,479
You left.

93
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,359
You left us.
You're the one who changed.

94
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:00,880
And why would I stay with yous?

95
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,719
It's like, "Oh, yeah,
come over and meet me flatmates,

96
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,719
"fucking jarg writer
and a gay psychopath."

97
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,039
You can't call me that.

98
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,920
Yes, I can.
It's your Instagram bio, Ethan.

99
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,639
Oh!

100
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,760
Yeah, walk off, as always.

101
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,600
The fuck is a jarg writer?

102
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:24,960
Hey. Hey.

103
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,519
Where is everyone?

104
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,640
Love you.

105
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,200
Love you.

106
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,679
It's really sad, really.
I really don't...

107
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,839
For fuck's sake. It's fucking Emily.

108
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,679
Huh? Who's Emily?

109
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,759
Girl whose Instagram
I always show you.

110
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,999
She cheated her way into office
even though I got the votes.

111
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,479
She's fucking Hitler.

112
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,639
Oh, the student union ents officer, right?

113
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,679
Yeah, but because
she had that experience,

114
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,039
she got on that Oxford master's,

115
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,519
and then she met that fella who's,
like, Swedish royalty or whatever.

116
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,479
And then they got engaged
and then they moved to Brooklyn,

117
00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,759
then she got a Tesla.
She robbed my fucking Tesla.

118
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,159
Yeah, it was a long time ago, though.

119
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,439
Yeah, but so was World War II.

120
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,520
People still talk about that,
don't they?

121
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,840
MAN: Excuse me.

122
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,280
Sorry. Can I bum one? Yeah.

123
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,199
Oh, cheers.

124
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,200
Oof!

125
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,080
Funerals are weird, ain't they?

126
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,759
Everyone thinking he was perfect.

127
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,440
Fucking weirdo, man. Weird kid.

128
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,759
No-one's saying nothing.

129
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:42,800
Yeah.

130
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,040
Yeah, he was weird.

131
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:47,919
You know, I don't...

132
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,999
...like, I don't remember
anything about him, but...

133
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,599
...except he used to call me milady,

134
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,320
and it made me want to, like,
move countries.

135
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,279
I don't know if I'm a good person.

136
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,759
No-one does.

137
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,039
No-one knows if I'm a good person?

138
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,919
Why didn't you reply?

139
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,240
Um...

140
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,640
I don't know.

141
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,440
But it's not my fault...

142
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,479
...right?
I mean... I shouldn't feel bad.

143
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,360
That's what today's all about,
I'm afraid.

144
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,039
Feeling bad. Yeah, but...

145
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,919
...we're... we're not responsible
for other people.

146
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,519
You know,
for other people's feelings.

147
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,600
Is that what people
have been telling you?

148
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,800
Sorry.

149
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,720
Thanks.

150
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,119
For fuck's sake.

151
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,439
Abi!

152
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,599
Hi! Hi!

153
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,279
Oh, my God! So good to see you.

154
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,239
I just wish it was under
better circumstances.

155
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:17,559
Oh, but you've been busy, babe.
You're royalty, aren't you?

156
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,079
I didn't realise you were
a monarchist.

157
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,799
I mean, I'm not personally,

158
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,999
but I just think
it's a vile institution.

159
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,559
Well... Well, yeah.
I mean, we called off the wedding.

160
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,359
No! Why?

161
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:28,839
Did he cheat on you?

162
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,879
Did he cheat on you
in a really horrible way?

163
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,199
Uh, no. Um... We're fine.
He's fine. He's nice.

164
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,679
It's just, I had this gut feeling,
you know?

165
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,559
I just suddenly thought,

166
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,079
"What is our relationship
even based on?" You know?

167
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:46,199
Yeah. "Do Sven and I have
this deep, soul, love connection,

168
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,639
"or do I just like going
to Lake Como with Amal Clooney?"

169
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,679
Classic question.
At least you've got your Tesla.

170
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,079
Oh, I don't have a Tesla.

171
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,319
You've... you've got a Tesla.
No, I don't. I don't have a Tesla.

172
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,959
Sorry. Hi. I'm Tom.
I'm the boyfriend.

173
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:03,199
Gosh. Hi! I've seen
so many posts on Insta.

174
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,919
Like, literally so many.

175
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,479
I feel like I've been to
a small plates restaurant with you.

176
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,719
How did you guys meet?
Uh, I'll say.

177
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,039
Um, she's actually the first person
I matched with on Hinge.

178
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,599
And he was mine.
Isn't that a funny story?

179
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,479
Oh, my God. Wow.
Like, just the first one?

180
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,199
You just thought,
"Right, I'm gonna stop now.

181
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,479
"I don't need to, like, look at
other options. Just, that's it."

182
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,040
No. Listen, when you know, you know.

183
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,079
When you know, you know. God.

184
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,479
I usually find, like, platitudes
like that so totally empty.

185
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,439
But when you said that,
I really felt something.

186
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,159
I feel like I've just been

187
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,719
kind of doing everything
just to have something to say.

188
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,479
Hello!

189
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,399
What a turnout.
HE CHUCKLES

190
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:43,159
A sell-out.

191
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,320
I'm Timmo.

192
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,439
Sorry. He is... WAS Timmo,

193
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,040
but sadly no more.

194
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,799
Obviously.

195
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,199
I'm Graham. I'm your celebrant.

196
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,839
I couldn't be happier for him
to be my first, uh, funeral,

197
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,479
being a celebrant.

198
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,239
Got qualified literally yesterday.

199
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,879
Down to the wire.

200
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,000
ELECTRONIC MUSIC

201
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,079
They told me this was a funeral
for a 24-year-old.

202
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,919
Like, hello, that's not an age
you should be dying at.

203
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,239
KEYS CLATTER
Fuck!

204
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,800
And I was like, "That's crazy."

205
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,599
I was like, "What?"

206
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,999
Anyway, I digress.
Let's get this show on the road.

207
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,519
Who is this guy? We're going to hear
some words now from Timmo's father.

208
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,000
Come on up, Sandy.

209
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,639
UNDER HER BREATH: Oh, my God. Fuck.

210
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,719
Timmo was a strange boy.

211
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,199
He confused me.

212
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,879
It's a strange feeling being
confused by someone you made.

213
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:45,919
We had the same face,
for fuck's sake.

214
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,679
AUDIENCE CHUCKLES

215
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:48,720
Yeah.

216
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,000
It, um...

217
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,080
It struck me today,
he didn't have many friends.

218
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,120
We ain't got a lot of family.

219
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,400
He's not going down in history.

220
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:04,960
Not very many people...

221
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,319
...not even the people here
will remember him,

222
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,079
at least not for long.

223
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,279
It sounds harsh,
but not many people loved him.

224
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,640
I loved him.

225
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,560
Didn't understand him at all. Didn't
get him, maybe. But I loved him.

226
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,320
Hard to know whether that's enough.

227
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,360
I wasted so much time...

228
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,919
...trying to get him to do
the things that made sense to me.

229
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,319
Things that I'd done.

230
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,560
I don't know why.

231
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,440
Those things didn't make me happy.

232
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,160
What made me happy was him.

233
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,600
Didn't realise how much
I loved being confused.

234
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,319
Beautiful words from
a beautiful man.

235
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,399
I think it's time for a "Tim-along".

236
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,960
That's a Timmo singalong.

237
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,600
DOORBELL RINGS

238
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,200
OK, OK. This is a bad idea.
What am I doing? What am I doing?

239
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,479
Hey. Fuck me. This place is far.

240
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,839
Yeah. Sorry. Yeah.

241
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,999
Are you OK? Yeah. Uh, yeah.

242
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,080
I just found the whole thing
a bit much.

243
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:50,159
Um, do you want to
come up to my room?

244
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:51,439
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

245
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,479
I mean, it's Roger's room,
actually, if I'm honest.

246
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,640
Who's Roger?

247
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,360
HEAVY BREATHING

248
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:36,999
Um, are you OK?

249
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,999
Yeah, it's just my first...

250
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,559
Oh, come here.

251
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,399
Yeah? Is there anything I can...
No, no, no. ..do?

252
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,879
Are you sure? No. You're all good.

253
00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,079
If there is anything, like...
It's fine.

254
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,919
I'll do it. It's fine. Like,
you can call me anything you want.

255
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,079
You can call me, like,
a stupid faggot whore if you want.

256
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,479
What?

257
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:56,839
I don't want to call you that.

258
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,319
Do you want me to call you that?

259
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,999
No, no, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying,

260
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,879
if there's something, like, specific
that you wanted...

261
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,440
I'll do whatever you, um...
I can call you that.

262
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:06,960
You're a faggot.

263
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:10,959
OK, uh...

264
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,959
That didn't feel like, um...

265
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,839
Maybe not, right?
Wrong. Yeah.

266
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,999
Um... Well, one time I...

267
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,279
I fucked this guy
who could only come from porn.

268
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:24,439
So he just, um, he just watched porn
while we... while we...

269
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,959
While you had sex?
Well, we could try that if...

270
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,520
That's awful.

271
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,640
Is it?

272
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:34,760
I don't know. Is it?

273
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:37,800
Come on.

274
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,680
God, everything is so uncertain,
isn't it?

275
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,079
I mean, listening to that
Emily girl,

276
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,159
her whole life, just, like,
falling apart.

277
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,679
It's like, one day you're
a princess of fucking Sweden

278
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,159
and you're hanging out with
George Clooney,

279
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,839
and you've got a fucking Tesla,
and then the next day, nothing.

280
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,839
No Sweden, no George Clooney,
no Tesla.

281
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,559
And then you just fucking die.

282
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,999
God, we're so lucky, Ab.
We're so fucking lucky

283
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,400
because we can look at each other
and just be certain.

284
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,440
I love you so much.

285
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,640
Babe, are you OK?

286
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,440
Shmoop, what's up?

287
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,359
HEAVY BREATHING

288
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,239
WOMEN MOAN ON VIDEO

289
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,559
Is that lesbian?
Shit, yeah, is that all right?

290
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,839
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's fine.
I love lesbians. Um...

291
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,679
I think they can be a bit
humourless, but I love them.

292
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,279
They're great. I'm hard.

293
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,080
Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

294
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,599
Teeth. MUFFLED: Sorry. Sorry.

295
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,320
No. It's OK.

296
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,959
MOANING ON VIDEO

297
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,200
Yeah.

298
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,039
Good funeral.

299
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,520
Yeah. Fucking banger.

300
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:19,199
This is probably gonna sound
really weird to you.

301
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,440
And you might not...

302
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,239
Look, you might disagree,
but I feel like I might have

303
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,719
treated you quite badly.

304
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,399
And I want to take accountability
for that.

305
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,120
So this is me.

306
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,560
I'm being accountable.
I'm taking accountability.

307
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,479
So is this, like... radical honesty

308
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,159
or some therapy training thing?

309
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,519
I don't need it.

310
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,119
Thought it might make you
feel better.

311
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,759
I don't feel bad, Zara.

312
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,439
Sam, yes. You do feel bad.

313
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,360
You do. We both do.

314
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,960
Come here.

315
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,439
Did you ever feel like it...
Like it ended at the wrong moment?

316
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,319
Like we should have waited a bit?
Soaked up a bit more of it?

317
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,079
No. Uh...

318
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,079
Things usually end
when they need to.

319
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,039
That's not true at all.
Look at Tommy's life.

320
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,800
His name was Timmo.
What did I say? Tommy.

321
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,479
Fuck! That's fucking unfair.

322
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,999
That's a really fucking unfair
thing to do to me.

323
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,320
Sorry. Um...

324
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,039
Want to come back to mine?
We live together.

325
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,800
Yeah, yeah, but do you? Yeah.

326
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,360
Have you ever thought about
killing yourself?

327
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,079
Jesus! Sorry, I didn't mean...
I wasn't saying it because of you.

328
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,359
I just mean because of the funeral.
I've been thinking about...

329
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,279
I nearly did it once when I was 17.

330
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,999
Yeah. I...

331
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,200
I just felt like everything
was so overwhelming.

332
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,079
But in a way that was
so boring, you know?

333
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,919
So I went to Boots and I was
going to get all this paracetamol,

334
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,839
but it turns out you can
only get two packs at a time.

335
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,679
And I started thinking, "I'm going
to have to go to all these Bootses

336
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,839
"all across London
and get loads of paracetamol,

337
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,559
"two at a time at loads
of different Bootses."

338
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,639
And I was like, "Actually,
that feels more exhausting

339
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,400
"than just carrying on living."

340
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,959
So in the end,

341
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,080
I just sort of sucked it up
and revised for my A-levels.

342
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,360
Do you want to stay over?

343
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,400
Like... I...I shouldn't, really.

344
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,039
I just mean, like, we should...
Yeah.

345
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,239
We could, like, lie here for a bit
or, um,

346
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,599
get some food in a second, or...?

347
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,519
I just, I...have a lot to do.

348
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,479
Yeah? Yeah. I've got to...

349
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,999
I've got to a post a letter
and call the bank.

350
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,320
You've got to post a letter?

351
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,600
It was so nice seeing you. For real.

352
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,240
Yeah. Yeah. You know where to...
Yeah. See you.

353
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,360
HEAVY BREATHING
TOM:Oh, fuck, babe.

354
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,400
TOM AND ABI BOTH MOAN

355
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,040
It's a nice way to end it.

356
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:34,960
It is. Yeah.

357
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,600
You don't know this yet
because I'm your first one.

358
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,719
But you're always going to
love me a bit.

359
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,799
And it's going to be really shit
for you.

360
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,040
OK.

361
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,039
You know when you'd always ask me
about Poppy and I'd be like,

362
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,759
"No, babe, I don't feel anything
for her any more.

363
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,319
"I wouldn't recognise her
in the street,

364
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,039
"I think her hair
looks shit bleached,

365
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,039
"and I wouldn't care if she died.
I don't love her at all any more"?

366
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,999
Fucking whore. Mm.

367
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,919
She has a Birkin now.

368
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,040
How did she afford that?
She's a fucking acupuncturist.

369
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,920
I was lying, Ab.

370
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,400
They were all lies.

371
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,160
And you're gonna have
to lie about me...

372
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,600
...because you're always
going to love me a bit.

373
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:29,880
That's so stupid.

374
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,840
I'm always gonna love you a lot.

375
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,280
I'm always gonna love you a lot.

376
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,080
Your mum's gonna be devastated.

377
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,560
DOOR OPENS

378
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,399
Oh, God. Hi, Roger.

379
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,119
Ethan. Ah! Here he is.

380
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:04,600
You know, the strapping... buck.

381
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,360
Oh, God.

382
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,279
Oh, no. Um... Uh, are you upset?

383
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,119
I'm afraid I don't have any tissues,
but let me go out.

384
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:14,799
I'll buy you thousands.
No, no, please, I...

385
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,119
Sit down, sit down. Can I just...?

386
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,839
Can I just, like, sit with you?

387
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,039
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
My gosh, that would be, uh...

388
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,480
That would be a dream come true.

389
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,720
It'd be an honour to
sit with a boy like you.

390
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,759
I love your bed.

391
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,719
Yeah, it's firm, which I like.
And there's a painting of a bird.

392
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,000
I used to have a pet bird.

393
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,080
What kind? Pigeon. Pigeon?

394
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,000
That's weird. Is it? Yeah.

395
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,520
Do you wanna hear something funny?
Oh?

396
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,999
So... so I met this guy, um...

397
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,479
...a few weeks ago. I'm gay.
That's...

398
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,280
Yeah. Great.

399
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,719
It's your flat, Tommy.
Yeah, I know, but it's fine.

400
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,000
I can stay at my mum's. Yeah.

401
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,240
Thanks for letting me take
the NutriBullet.

402
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,640
CAT MEOWS

403
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,199
If he was going to watch
a video like that,

404
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,479
he should have done one
with at least a willy in there.

405
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,800
Yeah. Thank you for saying that.

406
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:49,559
I'm starting to feel like
the whole thing was a huge mistake.

407
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,879
No, no, no. Listen here, dimbo.
Dimbo?

408
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,559
Love is never a mistake.

409
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,799
Well, I don't love him.
I'm not, like, in love with him.

410
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,239
Oh. Well...

411
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,959
Well, you should find...

412
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,199
It's good to love someone.

413
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,559
It's fun.
Yeah. I mean, I do love people.

414
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,399
There are... people that I love.

415
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,879
Yes! Well, you see.
That's amazing. That's perfect.

416
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,720
Those people, you should be
sucking on them. Yeah.

417
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,200
I'm in love.

418
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,399
Very lovely, very kind,
special woman.

419
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,079
Just the perfect woman.

420
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,799
Oh.

421
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,120
That's great, Roger.

422
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,679
Are you... are you together?
Or, like, what's the...?

423
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,359
No, no, no. No. No-no-no-no-no. No.

424
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:35,599
She's already got a, uh...
And he's great!

425
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:40,999
Got a man. A really generous,
kind, lovely husband, she has.

426
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,279
Lucky, lucky people.

427
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,839
God. I'm sorry, Roger.

428
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,639
Sometimes, uh, he'll say something

429
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,559
and she'll be like, um...

430
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,799
"Ugh!" Like... like she's annoyed.

431
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,479
Like she doesn't even love him,
but she does.

432
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,079
And when she looks at him like that,

433
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,439
I'm like, I'm honestly like...

434
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,800
"Like, just look at me like that.

435
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,319
"Look at me like that!

436
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:06,680
"Someone."

437
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,799
NARRATOR: Everything is cliche.

438
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,200
An individual person
in themselves is nothing.

439
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,919
They are only useful
insofar as their living

440
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,879
reminds other people
that they too are still alive.

441
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,359
It's a harrowing reminder.

442
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,039
Some people need it.

443
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,559
That sounds really lonely.

444
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,040
I don't really get lonely. No.

445
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,439
Jesus! Will you both shut up?!

446
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,439
I was barely talking!

447
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,520
Your voice carries, Ethan.
It's very high!

448
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,960
It's two o'clock
in the bloody morning.

449
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:47,680
Sorry.

450
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,200
Sorry. Was that story...?

451
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,519
Are you in love with my mum?
Hmm?

452
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:00,680
ETHAN LAUGHS

453
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,439
? Meaningless?

454
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:09,279
? You mean it's all been
meaningless?

455
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,159
? Every whisper and caress?

456
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,799
? Yes, yes, yes

457
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,200
? It was totally meaningless

458
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,119
? Meaningless

459
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:23,479
? Like when two fireflies fluoresce

460
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,399
? Just like everything, I guess

461
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,839
? Less, less, yes
It was utterly meaningless. ?

462
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,360
Subtitles by Red Bee Media

463
00:24:30,410 --> 00:24:34,960
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